Today has been a typical Monday....well okay, not really. It has been in the sense that we really have no schedule for Mondays. It used to be that I went out for the morning for some alone time. Then Paul started going to the church on Mondays to get a better start on his week. He also usually plans to go to the gym in the afternoon. We try to do some school on Mondays, but if I haven't prepared things over the weekend (which I usually don't) then I am trying to get things ready on Monday....which means they do very little school. So we just kind of hang out and as the day goes we decide what we are doing.
Ruby (the dog, for those of you that don't know her) is a boxer and is 10 years old. A boxer's life expectancy is about 10 years. We have noticed in the last year that she has started having issues. She now has cataracts and it is really hard for her to see the toys in her way, and especially at night. She has to sometimes go out at night, which has never been an issue before. She is drinking more water so even going out more in the day. Last month or so, Paul took her to the vet because she had a growth on her lip and she busted or cut it open a couple times and there was blood everywhere. They said it was a tumor, but they didn't think it was cancerous so not to worry about it. Paul just tried to do a better job of keeping her nails trimmed so she didn't cut it open. Since that time the growth has grown more growths. It has looked nasty and every once in a while would bleed a little. Yesterday was the last straw for me. It was bleeding everywhere and wouldn't stop. So, Paul took her to the vet this morning to see what we needed to do. He ended up calling me to talk about what to do. We decided to have them go ahead and run blood test to see if there was cancer anywhere else. The tests came back with her calcium numbers just slightly elevated. They said that and the fact that she is drinking more water could mean cancer, but the numbers weren't too high for them to think it was an immediate concern. So we decided to go ahead and have them remove the growth. They did the surgery today and as I am typing this Paul is on his way home with her. He does tell me she has to wear the "cone of shame" so we'll see how that goes. Anyway, all that to say, I have been waiting for the day that we no longer have her. It is hard to be in the ministry and have a dog....especially a dog that drools all over people. She always likes to do that to company and especially if they are dressed up. It is also hard to have people stay with us because some don't like dogs. It is also a pain to have to clean up after her now that she is shedding a lot (weather or age or both, I don't know). It is also a pain to have to make arrangements for her if we are going to be gone all day or overnight. It is a pain to take her with us places if we are going overnight. See there are a lot of reasons that I really wish we didn't have a dog now. BUT, today I realized how hard it is going to be to let her go. I know she is just a dog and we don't treat her as part of the family, but she is a part of the family. When Paul was asking me on the phone what we should do I was getting tears in my eyes. I don't want to put her down for my convenience, but I don't want her to suffer....and let's face it, she can't tell us how she feels.
So, all of that to just say, I am not as insensitive as some people may have thought I was. No, I don't like having a dog now and I will be glad when I don't have to clean up dog drool, accidents, smell dog food, etc, but I do have a heart and it will be hard to say goodbye when the time comes.
Good to know!
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